Show notes from Episode 176 of the Social Selling Sisterhood Podcast, transcribed using AI:
I'm here to talk to you a little bit about reprogramming your mind. So I have heard some different analogies around this lately and I feel like mindset is something that we can literally always talk about to improve and to tweak our own mindset to get back to how we really want. Um you know, to think about things and to dream big and I 100% firmly believe that mindset is the foundation for your business, like you need to know strategies, you need to know skills um or you need to have skills rather you need to be willing to put in time and there's something about your work ethic as well. But I 100% think that if you don't have your mind where it needs to be, if you don't believe in yourself and believe that you can do the things that you're setting out to do, um you're not gonna get there, you're just not, not to be negative.
Just what I have seen, what I have learned, what I have read anything that I have studied, I have never seen anyone with a really poor mindset um who didn't believe in themselves or believe in the product or service that they were offering. Like make it to the top, it just is not gonna, it's not gonna work or you might get there by some sort of fluke but you're not going to stay there and our purpose is to build awesome amazing businesses that were freaking in love with because we're freaking in love with our lives and we're living it every single day, right? We don't want to just build it and then have it, you know, go to death the next day. So we are really focusing on making sure that we are building something long term sustainable, something that we really freaking love and we're gonna do that with an awesome mindset.
So first thing I wanna say about mindset and reprogramming your mind set is I think too, start the reprogramming process, we need to know that like hey, I can improve and even though I've been doing mindset work very intentionally for gosh, probably six years now because I started it when I started my first Company in 2016, I didn't really know much about what mindset was our mindset work and why it was important until then. What was I going with that? Oh gosh, here's my mind speaking my mind, it's a little fried today. But I think that we really get to know like where we are being really self aware and I've talked a lot about being self aware in recent podcast episodes because that's something that I'm really becoming self aware of. No, I'm becoming aware of that a lot of people aren't self aware and we have ourselves either almost like on this pedestal where we have this idea of where we're already at, but we're actually not quite there or the other way around. We think we're like never going to get to our big big goals and big dreams are never going to get to, you know, whatever it is that you're working toward, but you're actually closer than you think, so, you know, it's it's usually one or the other very rarely are we able to be completely objective and be like, no, I really need to improve on this area. So just being very conscious of like are you doing putting in the work for your mindset? What kind of mindset do you have? Do you constantly, are you saying negative things and are you rewarding things like I can't or are you putting blame on other people for things that we can be taking some accountability for? And that accountability piece is a really huge one as well with mindset, I think.
So when I'm talking with you know women who are building their own business, is it the accountability for like, okay my business isn't doing well because I have not yet learned and mastered the skills that I need to do, I have not mastered X. Y. Z. Or is the blame being pushed on some outside like some outside other reason. Um maybe it's the company you're partnered with, your supplier is are you trying to blame things on the pandemic? Like what, where is that? You know, really coming from? And are you taking accountability ownership for basically your actions? Right. So are we able to take that accountability? And once we are able to be aware of all of those things, here are some tips and tricks that I do to keep my mindset constantly improving, constantly. Feeling like high vibe. Do I have days where I am human and negative thoughts creeping? Absolutely. Or I act or behave in a way that I'm not exactly proud of. Absolutely. Or my energy is low. Absolutely. But that's not the energy that I like to put out in the world and I know that and I know I am a better person when I do these things. So here they are, ready?
No particular order, but journaling, I don't journal often, I'm sure that before. But when I am feeling like I don't want to necessarily verbalize what I'm feeling or people aren't going to understand or I don't want to share it with other people. Journaling is a really awesome way to go. I think journaling and like almost even brain dumping like I'm just gonna put down all my worries, all my fears, anything that could possibly go wrong and then on the flip side of things, I also like to do that for the positive, Like I'm gonna journal, I'm gonna write down all the amazing things that I really want in my life for all the amazing things that are coming up that I'm grateful for. So I definitely think both sides of that, like the gratitude piece, but also writing down your worries and what's nagging at you are both really strong exercises, Something else is just silence. Some people do meditate. I'm not huge into meditation. I do some, um especially to go to sleep more than anything. I do think it's really powerful and powerful, but just, again, being honest, it's not a part of my daily routine. Um I went through a phase in the fall when I was doing it every day for like 3. 5 months, loved it, fell off over christmas break and then just never really got back in it. But even for me, just like that silence and really sitting with my, my thoughts and or releasing those thoughts and letting myself just to like be present is really huge for my mindset, um positive notes. So I, I did this a lot when I was very first starting my business. Um also I think my mindset was probably the lowest and like the poorest then. So I would write positive notes. Um sometimes they were affirmation. So I think affirmations are really strong too, but just little positive, like sticky notes or notes in my journal every day. Just some sort of a positive like way of thinking, or like I said, an affirmation, if you're familiar with affirmations or you're big on affirmations, I think those are really powerful as well. Um but the affirmations, you have to be careful that you're not just writing it out and like, okay, I'm manifesting that this is going to happen, it doesn't exactly work like that. Um and I'm going to have a manifestation expert on the show very soon, so make sure you watch for that episode because I'm sure it's going to be absolute fire and she's going to go way more into that. But um making sure that you are actually like really believing what you're writing down, like you are going to have a freaking awesome day, you are going to hit whatever rank you're trying to hit in your company, you are going to make that income goal. And then once I I decide what positive belief I'm thinking for like that day or that week or that month. Um then I, I set out an action plan, like, okay, here's three things I'm going to do today to get me closer to that goal. Um and I think that's really strong too. So it's all of this is to say it's really great if you have a great mindset but then we, we have to put forth action, right? So mindset and action go hand in hand when building your business, something else I like to do is read um read and or listen to podcasts, I listen to podcasts everyday, but but my podcasts aren't always um you know, for my mindset per se, sometimes they are, sometimes they listen to some empowering um podcasts or I will hear an empowering story and then in my mind make connections that that do end up helping my mindset but um in general if I'm looking for like a true mindset shift, then I read um I've read and I've mentioned here before like the energy bus, I am currently reading um what's it called? The miracle equation super, super good and it actually ties in this idea of the mindset in action as part of like the miracle equation. So I highly recommend that book if you're not ready yet, I got it in my sparkle, hustle grow brought box um which again really love if you are an entrepreneur and I'm sure you are, if you're listening to this podcast, it's really fun, they send you like, like a fun book every month that has something to do with building a business or mindset and like some business supplies some business tools which is really fun, okay, so read the next thing is surround yourself with people who are like the people that you want to be like a big shift that I had was when I honestly um kind of quote unquote broke up with some people who I had a toxic friendship with and whenever I was around them, I felt like I needed to um gossip about other people or say bad things about other people or I don't, you know, I don't even know all the things, but and then I would leave hanging out and it just felt bad, like I'm like, that's not me, like I feel icky, this is not right. Um and then there were also people who, you know, wouldn't support me at the end of the day, no matter what. So I'm like why am why am I wasting my time hanging out with these people? So, you know, in your gut, you know, if hanging out with certain people and surrounding yourself with certain people is bringing you up or is bringing you down another thing and not even just being around people who are negative or toxic. Um and I was talking about this, my friend Brittany, I interviewed her for the show as well and her interview is coming up pretty soon, I don't have an exact date, but look for her interview and we talked a little bit about, you know, this idea of surrounding yourself with people who are at a higher level, like at a higher frequency or who are further along in their business than you are, I think that is super strong and super powerful because you never want to be the person in the room who is the blank ist, who is the smartest, who is the furthest along, who is the most successful, who is the happiest, who is the, you know, like, I feel like at least in the in the business sense or like if you're thinking about joining a mastermind or the accountability piece or like I want to always be pushing myself to do better, therefore I don't want to be the best at whatever in the room, if that's the thing that I'm trying to improve on, right? I want to surround myself with people who are even better at it than me, so I can learn from them and so that we can kind of trade and feed off each other's energies in different ways, but I know that I'm not going to level up if I'm already at the person who is at the highest level in the group that I'm at, so surround yourself with those people who are really going to push yourself to be a better version of you and that doesn't mean that you have to, you know, break up with people necessarily, but maybe you're going to tweak the amount of time or the activities that you do with certain groups of people because they're not filling your cup in the way that they could be and then you're going to spend that extra time either surrounding yourself with other people or going off and doing your own thing and building your own business right? We don't need, we don't need to spend our time with people who are not filling us up borrow belief from people. So this one can be really tricky, especially if you're not working with a coach or in a mastermind or some sort of small group coaching scenario where you have other business owners around you who I believe in you who believe in themselves and you have that confidence in the fact that you guys are creating and owning your magic, as I like to say, you're creating something really awesome and you're stepping into that power of the next level woman that you are, that business owner and sometimes we have those days where we don't believe that in ourselves or we don't see the potential that someone else can see in us. And that's when we get to borrow that belief from other people. So you know, maybe it's your borrowing it from your coach, maybe you're borrowing it from a mentor that you have, maybe you're borrowing it from me in this podcast when I tell you every podcast how much I believe in you and how much you can go out there and do hard, awesome, amazing things because I truly do believe that so those days that you don't believe that in yourself, find someone else whose belief that you can borrow so you can borrow my belief anytime friend but find someone else, you know my sister is a huge cheer leader of mine um I have a work friend who's a huge cheerleader of mine and I'll tell her about my crazy business ideas and she's always the first one to support me. So you know find those people who really truly believe in you, even if you I call these my dirt people, even if you're selling dirt, they will support you and cheer for you and all the things. So find your dirt people and borrow some some dirt from them. You know borrow some belief from them. Um And then the very last thing and this is like it's gonna be pretty short but I want you to really start being conscious of how you are talking to yourself and this is important and this is something that when I worked with a mastermind the very first time I was in a mastermind a few years ago the coach was constantly like tweaking our language when we were talking. Um And so for example, instead of saying I have to switching it to I get to, especially with with business things like there are some things that literally we have to do like I have to you know go to the doctor every six months for a checkup. Yes I have to I also get to that is a privilege. I'm not um undermining the fact that I live in the United States of America, I am a middle class woman, I do have certain privileges. So yes I get to. But also in my mind that is a non negotiable thing that I have to do. I'm talking about saying things like oh tonight I have to follow up with my clients tonight, I have to play in my social media posts. I have to, I have to, I have to, so when I was working with her she would constantly be correcting us and say I get to, I get to and I've had a lot of coaches and people in my life the past couple of years since I have switched my language and it was, it was a very, it was something that I had to really think about and self correct for a long time. It wasn't like an overnight, like I just took that word out of my vocabulary or anything, so I just want to be clear about that. But I've had a lot of coaches in the past couple of years to be like, wow, I'm really impressed with with the language that you use because you tend to use words where you're, you're taking accountability for things or you're reminding yourself like, hey this is a freaking awesome thing that I get to do is build a business and no one is making me do it, I'm choosing to do that. Um So I was saying like I get to X. Y. Z. Or another shift? That you've probably heard people say instead of saying I don't have time for something like oh no I don't have time to do that, I don't have time to do this. Whatever is um changing your words to say that's not a priority for me. Oh that one hits hard especially when it's something to do with your health. Like I don't have time to run tonight. I don't have time to do a workout tonight. I don't have time to meal prep. I don't have time to prepare a healthy meal for me and my family. I don't have time and changing it to, it's not a priority for me to work out tonight. That one stings same thing with your business. You know, I don't have time to show up for my team. Power hour tonight versus it's not a priority for me to show up for my team. Power hour tonight also hits just way differently. Right? Um So those two shifts, especially in language were ones that really helped me with my mindset for me to really remind myself, Okay, so if I am constantly telling myself it's not a priority for me to do all these things in my business, Why am I actually doing my business? What is this? You know what's the point of me doing this? If it's never going to be a priority for me. At what point in my life is my health actually going to become a priority for me when I'm when are my workouts actually going to be a priority? And so those two things, especially especially the time one, because I feel like we say that with time all the time, but but really both of them I get to and this is a priority for me are really strong language shifts, so those are just two examples. But you know, how are you how are you talking to yourself? Especially in regards to excuses and things that you have to do versus get to do in your time? But also um you know, I like to anytime I'm feeling discouraged or start comparing myself to someone else, we all do it. I know we're all told not to do it, but we all do it with that, comparing comparison itis especially when I'm able to ask myself, okay, why not me? Why can't I do that thing that I see her doing? And I'm like, oh my gosh, I wish I could do that. Okay, well why why haven't you, what is holding you back? I'm just being really brutally honest with myself. Okay, well I haven't yet because I'm not consistent on social media or I don't do X, Y. Z. And just okay, well why not? Well, I managed my time poorly. Okay, how can we manage our time poorly? So just kind of walking yourself almost like that self coaching of yourself? And again, it's that self awareness. Why why are you not doing those things that you say you really, really want is because you really don't want them? Are you not feeling aligned? Because that's a whole, another podcast episode for a whole another day? Um but also just in general, why not you? And that is the mindset that shifted for me a few years ago when when I went from a business that was bringing in a couple of $100 a month to a business that was bringing in almost five figures a month. That difference was the question, why not me? Because I have all the capabilities, I am a freaking rock star and this is what I tell myself I'm a freaking rock star and I know it sounds really conceited, I'm completely aware, but I would look in the mirror and be like, you are like people are blessed if they work with you because you know what you're doing, you are extremely loyal, you're gonna support that and I would just list all these things and so I'm like why not me? Why don't I build this business because I'm 100% capable. I see all these other people doing it. There is nothing different from me than those people except I'm holding my own self back and that self awareness friend is complete fire. So I want you to really think about yourself as you are reprogramming your mind sets, How do you talk to yourself? What words can we use to talk to ourselves positively and what words can we use even if they're not verbal spoken out loud, but what words can we use when we are expressing things that we get to do and where we get to put our time. How can we make some language like shifts, some small small shifts so that we get to show up in a really, really big way for ourselves and our business because I think that's super powerful. So just a quick recap about reprogramming our mindset, some things we can do journal, write positive notes, say affirmations, sit in silence, meditate, read listen to a podcast, invest in yourself and I don't know that I actually really talked about that one but investing in yourself, just meaning like paying for a mindset um and or business coach or mastermind which goes into the next one that I did talk about, surround yourself with, people who are up leveling you, who are pushing you to be a better version of you and who are positive instead of those people who are bringing you down and not believing in you borrow your beliefs from your mentors or other amazing boss women and talk to yourself in a positive way. Why not you because there's nothing holding you back from those big goals and dreams, my friend, but you in your mind, I promise everything else is figure out able. I think it's Amy, is Amy Porterfield who says that everything is figure outable. No Marie Forleo. Forleo says that everything is figure outable. Well, I think she even has a book called that if I'm not mistaken, But everything's figure out able, and 100% believe that including your mindset, but we do have to put in that work so that we can constantly be getting to the next level!